boymeat: (foamy love)
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posted by [personal profile] boymeat at 09:49am on 04/05/2009
As those who have visited my home in the past know all full well... I can be a bit of a slob.

When left to my own devices, my apartment sometimes gets forgotten in the hustles and bustles of life. Clothes get thrown on the floor, newspapers and boxes completely and totally succeed at avoiding the recycling room downstairs, and various scraps of paper and wrappers fail to find their way to the trash receptacle.

Would one go as far as calling it a bachelor pad? Perhaps... though I think bachelor pads are generally cleaner.

So when [ profile] kathryntact came up to NY last Friday for her final visit to NY as a non-New Yorker, I was both ecstatic and scared out of my wits. Ecstatic to see her and have her going to slumber and waking up with me daily for a week. Yet, horrified because she would see that state of my apartment and truly decide that beheading me would be a much more satisfying option than living with me.

Thankfully, I am still in possession of my head, one week later. But it was close. Real close.

It was a week of cleaning (more her than me), apologizing (so much of the me), time with friends, dining in, snuggling on the couch watching TV, geeking out on books or video games, and sex. (Gotta slip the sex in there.) In one week, my apartment has transformed itself from tornado victim to... home.

Her books are on the shelves next to mine. Her DVDs mingle and party with mine. A photo of her mother clutching a baby Kathryn sits on the shelves next to the bed. It feels good.

[ profile] kathryntact drove back home yesterday afternoon, and I did not feel sadness per se as I knew it will be mere weeks until we see each other again, and then begin seeing each other a whole lot more (i.e. daily, living together, oh dear lord she's gonna learn to hate me kind of thing.) Instead of sadness, I felt loneliness.

You see, a clean apartment is a wonderful thing, yes. But all that clutter that I had before takes up space. Lots of it. And it makes the apartment feel crowded and tight and cramped. But now that everything is where it should be, after bags and boxes of stuff leaving the apartment for parts unknown, after the great reveal of more floorspace than anyone ever knew I had... the apartment is open. Way open. Wide clean empty spaces everywhere you look.

And it's lonely in there now. I laid in bed last night looking around my apartment, and wondered what was missing.

And I can honestly say [ profile] kathryntact was missing. It doesn't feel like home without her now.
Mood:: 'lonely' lonely
There are 18 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
posted by [identity profile] at 01:55pm on 04/05/2009
aw. *hugs*

I am so looking forward to watching the domesticated boymeat develop... I hope you plan to post a *little* more often when the big move finally happens.

Oh, and in case I haven't said it? I am very happy for you. *hugs*
posted by [identity profile] at 02:00pm on 04/05/2009
awww.. *schmoop*

and *hugs*
posted by [identity profile] at 02:08pm on 04/05/2009
you should really take pictures of your place so that you have proof!
Lonely isn't so bad when you know it's temporary *hugs*
posted by [identity profile] at 02:15pm on 04/05/2009

It will get better soon. You have that to hold onto.
Very excited for you!
This is a big step!
posted by [identity profile] at 02:17pm on 04/05/2009
How sweet! I wish you both much happiness in your soon-to-be cohabitation.
posted by [identity profile] at 02:32pm on 04/05/2009
Aw, that's sweet :) Congratulations on your soon-to-be-live-in-love :)

posted by [identity profile] at 02:34pm on 04/05/2009
Wishing you a short period of loneliness that is quickly filled with joy and happiness.
posted by [identity profile] at 02:44pm on 04/05/2009
I sincerely feel that you two are awesome together. Yay for sadness turned to loneliness, because that means there's something to be lonely *for*. And it's not long now.

posted by [identity profile] at 02:45pm on 04/05/2009

It must be true love if she's willing to move in with a slob like you.

You're a lucky man. Best wishes for years and years and years of happiness together.

posted by [identity profile] at 04:00pm on 04/05/2009
YAY for your beautiful love!
Knowing you two have found each other
and are together and happy and in love
makes me incredibly happy
posted by [identity profile] at 04:57pm on 04/05/2009
Yay to domestic bliss soon to be! I know that feeling of loneliness well having spent months apart from my love, but to know when it's going to end is *the* biggest comfort.
posted by [identity profile] at 05:46pm on 04/05/2009
There, uh, must be something in my eye…

posted by [identity profile] at 06:35pm on 04/05/2009
And I can honestly say [info]kathryntact was missing. It doesn't feel like home without her now.

Hope that feeling stays with you always....wishing much happiness
to you both :)
posted by [identity profile] at 08:17pm on 04/05/2009
posted by [identity profile] at 12:04am on 05/05/2009
this post made my heart smile :)
posted by [identity profile] at 12:29am on 05/05/2009
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!! <3 <3 <3

snarky comment:

Seriously .. we want pics of the new look!
posted by [identity profile] at 10:24am on 05/05/2009
aw bless... ~grin~

Meanwhile, how's the fish tank? ;-)
posted by [identity profile] at 05:58am on 06/05/2009
And it's lonely in there now. I laid in bed last night looking around my apartment, and wondered what was missing.
I spent Thursday through Monday moving [ profile] pleasuregelf out of my house after almost 7 years of living together in my house and 9 years if you include us sharing apartments. My place is empty now, barren. Most of the furniture was hers. I feel a great emptiness now. Both in the house and me. I hope it gets better for you.


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